#i have never spoken about this
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#i have never spoken about this#but i take thc/cbd oil for chronic pain management#and i’ve been on it for four years now#it’s way more common than you think#i use it more so for sleeping purposes because i struggle with pain-related insomnia#and in my case i’m not on a dose that makes me feel “high”#people act so surprised when i have brought up that i take it but it doesn’t have as many side effects as most opioids#and i take mine under the guidance of a pain specialist and have tga approval to use it#all of this to say to perhaps not judge people who utilise it to manage their pain levels#i know i would rather not take anything#but chronic pain really takes a toll on your body not just physically but mentally#anyway mini confession over#personal
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Having bpd to me is like I'm the loneliest person on the planet, no matter how many people I talk to, no matter how many connections I make or have, I'm a lonely void who will die alone. I have to be talking to someone or with someone every second of every minute of every day. I love people so much, I need people. There's so many people out there with different things to teach you. And then, if I have to talk to one person for more than 6 seconds today, I'll kill them. I'll kill myself. I need to be left alone for the rest of the day, I need no one but myself to be happy. I don't want to partake in anything with anyone because it's all draining and taking out of my alone time. Everyone is the same, they're all boring and self-absorbed. Every conversation feels like I'm forcing myself to be actively present. I just want to be alone in my room with nothing or no one. I don't see a future where I'm happy with anyone other than being by myself.
#bpd#bpd vent#actually bpd#bpd thoughts#actually borderline#bpd splitting#lately I've just been slowly moving away from all my friends too#haven't spoken to anyone on insta for days despite usually talking to at least 2-3 friends every few days#irl sent me a video a week ago...never responded. I haven't even been feeling lonely really#I just KNOW when my period creeps up on me I'll be a whining sad piss baby who's openly pathetic about needing human connection#like I wish I just felt no need for it ever. it feels SO good to be alone and not have any obligations as a person#then the crippling loneliness of forever being alone seeps in when tbh I'm fine with it currently actually
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public apology to everyone who dms me and then later sees the exact same thing i said to you in a public post. i promise we are having a real and honest human connection but also i'm trying out my material on you. it’s an unfortunate hazard of ever talking to anyone who thinks they’re a little bit funny. i really am sorry and it will happen again.
#what is friendship if not a low key comedy workshop#this is (obviously) (i hope) about fandom nonsense or similar#i would never publicly share someone's personal things without permission#i mean please don't come into my dms specifically to drop your deepest traumas if we have never spoken before like do first send me#your thoughts about the Character for four to six business days first#but your secrets are safe
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Thinkin bout Sampo Koski rn as like. His character n what we get of him in honkai star rail and he fucking. He confuses me like. There has to be So Much more to him like
The general vibes of him and especially how other characters treat him is that of comic relief, a punching bag, a goof, just a slick conman causing trouble. It's genuinely difficult NOT to insult him n treat him badly with dialogue options and any time he's even mentioned March 7th hisses at him. He's literally a cryptid in belobog. He's a joke.
But. But. There's his light cone. It makes me insane. It contradicts all of that.
In it he's competent. He's badass. He's omnipotent. He's able to somehow know a sniper from however far away is locked on him and address them specifically.
And even like... in the entire plot of jarilo-vi he's spoken of like he's not much. He's a 4 star character. But he's practically as present as bronya and seele and Gepard and his involvement in the story is ASTRONOMICAL. He has a part in every major event. He's the one who drags the Trailblazers and bronya into the Underworld. He's the one who takes you to svarog, to the overworld again. He gets Natasha and saves you from svarog. He's the first character you ever meet on jarilo.
And he seems to just vanish before you confront cocolia. But no. Sampo is the one who has the last word and wraps up the entire mission on jarilo-vi. He fucking breaks the forth wall. Jarilo-vi both begins and ends with Sampo.
He calls himself shadowy comic relief yet he seemingly orchestrated everything. What is he. What the fuck is he doing. What else is up with him and when will we get more of him. I want to bite into him and tear him apart.
#sampo koski#honkai star rail#IM NORMAL IM NORMAL IM NORMAL#the fact he's 4 star vexes me#like.hes more present than gepard and clara and they are 5 stars#my theory is like dan heng we'll get a 5 star version of sampo#but also if he never gets more screen time i will fucking eat my own foot#like whay is he. who. what the fuck is going on#and is this a masked fools thing??? are the masked fools about this shit?? like. is it all just to put on a show?#or is he actually wanting to fix communities and help people#why did he go and get natasha. thay one gets me. thats such like. out of his way obvious selflessness#and he's shown and spoken of more like a smarmy selfish bastard only for himself#but he went and got natasha. he brought bronya to the underworld. he lead you to belebog at the beginning#i literally havent played hsr in months. because i have sampo brain worms#he is the worm aha made an emenator and he is in my brain
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elaborating on a post from last night.
back when the good omens show first came out, i saw this fandom quickly dismiss concerns transfems had about the transmisogynistic tropes present in the show, the book, and gaiman's other work. i saw this fandom praise a depiction of a man disguising himself as a woman with the sole intention of gaining access to a child and influencing them into evil as a bold, positive representation of gender nonconformity. unfortunately i, being very young at the time and not as familiar with transphobia as it applied to trans women as i was with how it applied to myself (a tme enby), was part of this dismissal. i, like many other good omens fans, participated in brushing aside trans women's valid concerns in favor of supporting neil gaiman's bullshit. but i have since left the fandom, learned, and realized how fucked up it was.
so it's honestly sickening to see this same fandom now use defense of and support for trans women as a shield to excuse neil gaiman's bullshit once again. i believe that tortoise media had motives for wanting to break the story that had more to do with gaiman's milquetoast support for trans rights than they did concern for his victims, but i also believe the victims. i wish scarlett and k had come forward about their abuse with literally any other outlet, and it's entirely possible that one or both of them have bigoted beliefs about trans people themselves, but i'm not going to dismiss what they went through just because they aren't perfect victims or perfect people.
it's without question that gaiman had sexual relationships with both of these women, both being in their early 20s while he was in his 40s and 60s, one being a fan he met when she was a teenager and the other being his employee, respectively. that alone should make you want to distance yourself from him and his work. it also seriously makes me doubt his innocence that his own defense of himself is that k is just still so upset about the way their relationship ended that she's making sa allegations to get back at him almost two decades later and that scarlett is literally delusional and has created false memories of assault due to a medical condition that she does not fucking have.
we have seen time and time again that victims get absolutely no reward for coming forward about abuse, especially so when their abuser is a wealthy public figure. the idea that women are incentivized to create false allegations is a straight up lie and i had thought, after you all were fooled by depp and his pr team not too long ago, that we had all moved past believing it, but i guess fucking not.
#and to the terfs using this as proof of trans women being evil: fuck OFF.#you are just as scummy as tortoise themselves using these women's abuse as ammunition for your bigotry#when if gaiman had never spoken about trans people you would not care and if he had been anti trans you would be right there defending him#which i know because i have seen you lot stand by cisgender men accused of abuse when they are expressly anti trans#neil gaiman#good omens#i speak
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I don’t know how to explain any more clearly that it doesn’t MATTER if it seems legitimate to you. You have got to fact check every single headline and post and claim on the left just like you need to do on the right.
The left is NOT immune to misinformation and rushed reporting. And the more emotionally polarizing or shocking the talking points, sound bytes, and headlines are, the worse it is and more frequently it happens.
Learn to verify through multiple independent sources. If you can’t do that, you can’t trust it.
If you have to wait extra hours for the real information to come through vetted channels—NOT just one individual somewhere everyone links to, and not just one single media source either, EVEN if it’s a major news network—thats just how it has to be. What news outside of genuine local disasters near you TRULY needs your outrage and post-sharing in the next hour specifically?
Misinformation works best by not seeming like misinformation and by fitting in with the rest of what you already expect to see. It doesn’t help anyone to not be able to recognize and avoid the stuff.
#hey little star whatcha gonna queue?#and before I get any angry anons saying I’m making the argument that both sides are the same#I am not. and nowhere did I say that#and if your immediate reaction to any amount of criticism of leftist spaces or communication#is knee jerk outrage and defensiveness#this is an invitation to explore why that is for you.#this isn’t about anyone on here this is from conversations I’ve had with a few people IRL who have shared leftist misinformation a lot#so if you’re feeling attacked by this post and I haven’t directly spoken to you multiple times about misinformation with you responding bac#this isn’t. a vague post. about you. okay?#I cannot reiterate enough THIS IS AFTER IRL INTERACTIONS NOT A CAL OUT VAGUEPOST#and as one final note. IF YOU FOLLOW PEOPLE. WHO CONSTANTLY USE. THE MOST INFLAMMATORY WORDING CHOICES POSSIBLE.#YOU SHOULD NOT FOLLOW THOSE PEOPLE NO MATTER WHAT THEY TALK ABOUT.#no one communicating in true good faith to ALL PEOPLE about facts uses loaded language more than occasionally#the sooner you learn that the better. and that really starts narrowing down the pool of who you want to actually listen to (while still#verifying anything they tell you)#get higher standards!!!! and read some books or watch lectures about actual effective communication to broad groups without using tribalism#and also. anyone on the left trying to convince you of massive efforts and conspiracies that are anti everything#is also wrong 99% of the time and not a good source to listen to#never EVER assume conspiracy when it can be more simply explained through either#ignorance obliviousness incompetence financial greed or misunderstandings#the end. I’m really done this time. I’m just sick of seeing so many people fall prey to this#shh katie#cult escapee#politics and current events#don’t get swept up in the constant tsunami of performative online activism#election 2024#world events
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kathryn janeway my favourite heroine of a greek tragedy
song is alt-j - philadelphia
#something something about finally becoming bigger than life. which must be a rather lonely thing to be#show changed my brain chemistry so bad that i had to open an editing software. NEVER AGAIN (working on another edit already)#full disclosure i do ship j/c and j7 simultaneously bc i enjoy being evil#ahhhh i have so much to say about janeway...#esp her in tuvix!! i hate how this episode is spoken about. tuvix and how janeway dealt with him is such a good metaphor of how she is goin#to get more desperate and willing to take questionable decisions to get her crew to safety. and i loved how they paralleled kes wanting#neelix to return to crew wanting to get back home#ahhh i love this show#my friend who knows about voyager only from my yapping watched this and thought that janeway hugged seven and not jaffen#i call it yuri kuleshov effect#star trek voyager#kathryn janeway#my post#chakotay#seven of nine#j/c#j7
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hey there kids want to read the truest description of X-Men ever given
THE IDEOLOGICAL LATCH-KEY CHILDREN OF CHARLES AND ERIK'S CATASTROPHIC DIVORCE I'M FUCKING DYING
#X-Men#Anthony Oliveira#I just needed to share this quote like#truer fucking words have NEVER BEEN SPOKEN#like how in House of X Charles gets Emma to come have a meeting#and she's like “okay what's this about”#and then Erik comes out of the shadows and she literally says#“Ah so it's the two of you TOGETHER.”#“this is either going to be incredibly heroic or terrifyingly reckless.”#like everyone Knows they are the founding duo#they aren't the oldest or the most powerful mutants#but EVERYTHING somehow always comes back to them#and so if both of them are involved in something it's like “aw crap duck and cover”#“Erik and Charles are on the up phase of the rollercoaster”#that whole sequence in Nation X#“the world walked around us. this thing of ours isn't ours anymore."#“you're wrong. it's always us. it always comes back to us.”#quoth Cyclops: “Charles and Erik can be a little intense.”
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i have forces on the mind now so i’m going to discuss something i think WAY too much about
besides tails’ involvement in the game, the biggest thing i’d change is how infinite used the phantom ruby. imagine how much more of a threat he would’ve been if he used it for psychological warfare instead of just making an army
what if in that huge battle scene, instead of just reusing zavok and shadow etc etc, he used clones of resistance members and heroes to stir confusion and fear. to make everyone question who they’re fighting
what if the younger version of sonic that followed tails around was an illusion and a constant presence that reminded tails of his failure? he doesn’t help with anything, he just follows the fox around. kinda like how tails follows sonic around and, in his mind, doesn’t do anything worth while. we all talk about sonic being psychology tortured on the death egg but what if infinite did that to those who were found alone as well?
that does lead back to my wish that forces followed tails instead of the rookie. if infinite used the phantom ruby to stoke fear and confusion, tails being the main character means he would’ve had to push past his fear AND help others push past their own fears in order to help stop infinite which would’ve been a huge character growth moment for him
maybe i’m just pulling shit out of my ass but personally, i would’ve loved to see an infinite that used more mental warfare tactics instead of whatever tf he did in forces
#graveyardtxt#I MEAN COME ON!#HE CAN MAKE CLONES OF ANYTHING#DO SOMETHING WITH IT#DO DAMAGE#RUIN PEOPLE FOREVER IDK#i’m very passionate about how forces could’ve been yet i will never commit to rewriting it 🫶#i may have spoken about this before but very briefly#infinite the jackal#miles tails prower#sonic forces
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everything good happens after midnight!
#alecto carrow#the carrow twin vision i have has existed in my head for so long but i’ve never spoken a single word about either of them.#until now!#say hi liv theinvisiblemuseum alecto 🫶#invisible museum
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I LOVED To Be a Creature, and it genuinely creeped me out to see the things Edelgard and Hubert said to Byleth (though it's the same as the game, stripped out of its voice acting and background music, the dialogue is so much more horrifying). Really makes me wonder if Edelgard's love for Byleth is genuine in any way. Do you think there's any real love there or is it just obsession?
Thank you!!! I had a feeling that placing Edelgard and Hubert's words in a context that isn't meant to make them look flattering would really let their casual racism shine, and I'm glad it's seeming like that is in fact the impression people are getting lol. SO sorry for the late answer btw 😭😭😭
As for whether Edelgard's love is genuine... I got opinions lmao.
got a bit long lmao under the cut it goes
If Edelgard felt the way she does for Byleth on exclusively SS and CF, I could maybe see how this is a "genuine" love (insofar as a love steeped in "I may hate your race but you're special and Not Like The Other Ones because I think you're special to me" can, uh, ever be genuine, in any case). But because Edelgard still feels as strongly towards Byleth on AM and VW where she quite literally never talks to them directly in any meaningful way, it becomes waaaaay more like she's just weirdly obsessed with this person who saved her one singular time ever five years ago from an attack Edelgard set up. It makes the "love" way more forced and contrived and obviously trying to squeeze tears out of the player for standing up against the cute girly trying to murder them. Or, alternatively, it makes Edelgard come off as manipulative, saying that she just wanted to walk with Byleth and it makes her so sad to HAVE to fight Byleth because BYLETH wouldn't stand by HER - and she's saying this on AM/VW to a person she's talked to in conversation a cumulative, what? Hour? Two? Maybe a few days, being nice? Over the course of, being as absolutely generous as physically possible and not counting the five years Byleth was missing... two fucking years? She's shitting herself over fighting this stranger she doesn't fucking know? Yeah, sure buddy, whatever you say - you see what I mean?
And honestly even outside of those two routes, I think it's more that she sees Byleth as being hers rather than actually liking them for who they are. A body to stand next to her and tell her how right she is and comfort her - who doesn't have the background of "I was literally raised to think this is my only purpose in life" muddying the sincerity of the brown-nosing - who also happens to also act as The Perfect Fighter and The Perfect Strategist to actively help her get what she wants. That view of Byleth being a tool doesn't really go away unless they marry her, seen by how they quite literally get nothing for all they've done for Edelgard should they go unmarried to a noble (guess they just weren't meritable enough once their use to her was done).
As well as how much more Edelgard doesn't like Byleth disagreeing with her or otherwise going against her flow than pretty much anyone else in the game - you lose supports points if you don't think the Black Eagle Strike Force name she made is good, she quickly denies the notion that Byleth is detached from others/emotions and insists they are just like she is, she gives them the same callous and thoughtless words she was apparently given once in her life while they are in the midst of mourning their recently murdered father so that they get over it already and get back to being useful to her (directly saying she will only reach out her hand when it's time for HER to move forward, not when BYLETH heals from WATCHING THEIR DAD DIE IN THEIR FUCKING ARMS MAYBE A WEEK AGO). She never treats Byleth kindly unless they do everything she wants, which like. Isn't love???? At all????
There's just this... weirdly possessive air Edelgard has around Byleth that always threw me off, especially with how easily she admits to have been willing to kill them so far into CF and how readily she cuts ties with them the second the fighting's done (which is particular because how just how clingy she was to Byleth everywhere else - you know during all that time Byleth had a use to her). Incorporating that into being an intentional part of her character is certainly interesting, but not in a way that's flattering to the idea of Edelgard genuinely being in love with Byleth lmao.
Personally tho, even disregarding almost everything else, the simple explanation is that I don't think you can really sit there and say you love someone while openly hating part of their racial heritage. Wild thought, I know lmao
#ask#anon#anti edelgard#just to be safe#like. maybe if this ship was allowed to be seen as the clearly toxic ship it is i MIGHT could see it as a sort of twisted#''you're only good because *I* like you'' fucked up kinda deal#where the possessive and controlling shit baked into the relationship was embraced or even just like. acknowledged?? at all??#and where Edelgard ''doesn't care'' for Byleth's mixed-race status in her love for her...#...because she *already* dehumanized them as *being* hers regardless of Byleth's race. like they ALREADY aren't really a person to her#which is why their mixed-race status is just an annoying bug to her and not a deal-breaker (to downplay it SEVERELY but you get the idea)#but uh like it's not like at all lmao#there's no way in hell my ass is gonna be convinced Edelgard ''I hate Nabateans and want to obliterate all of them'' von Hresvelg#would ever actually genuinely love Byleth ''is literally part Nabatean'' Eisner WITHOUT getting over her hatred of Nabateans#and oops guess what she never does 🤷♀️#and yeah her ''facing you i grow weak'' and ''i just wanted to walk with you'' schtick on AM and VW looks shallow as helllllll dude#like bitch do NOT play with me you do not and frankly CAN not give a shit about this person sincerely#LITERALLY they have almost never spoken to each other. she could've just as well said this to fucking Raphael and have it mean just as much
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If there are a million Reeve Carney as Orpheus fans in the world, I am one of them. If there are only two Reeve Carney as Orpheus fans in the world, I am one of them (Eva Noblezada is the other). If there are no Reeve Carney as Orpheus fans in the world, Eva Noblezada and I are dead 😔
#hadestown#hadestown obc#reeve carney#eva noblezada#seriously im sick and fucking tired of the reeve carney hate on tiktok#'jordan fisher is the only orpheus that matters' 'jordan fisher shouldve originated orpheus on bway'#'they should replace the obc recording with jordan fisher' 'jordan fisher was the best thing to ever happen to hadestown'#shut up!!!!!!!#i adore jordan fisher but you are missing the point of theatre and hating on reeve in the process!!!!!#you can have a favorite but that doesnt mean the actors who are not your favorite shouldnt exist in that role!!!!!#but also your favorite is wrong!!!!#reeve carney brought more autistic swag to orpheus than anyone could possibly recreate!!!#he was naive he was soft spoken he was unaware of social expectations!!!!!#jordan fisher has such a raw powerful voice and thats not what orpheus needs!!!!! hes just a lil guy!!!!#hes just a lil guy who accidentally had a battle of the bands with the devil and won#because he has nothing in his brain except sing and love his girlfriend!!!!!#i love jordan fisher in everything ive ever seen him in and i adore his voice but please stop putting other actors down#im not a huge fan of the way jonjon briones plays hermes but im not out here talking shit about him!!@#or saying he should never have had the part in the first place#(btw i was joking about the 'your favorite is wrong' thing because - again - literally defeats the point of theatre)#please find ways to say that jordan fisher is your favorite without putting reeve carney down#and also please give reeve carney a chance and dont dismiss him just because he is less conventionally attractive#and hip in popular media and on social media#please give the role a chance for what it is and not just which actor you already like#i was pissed when i first found out they were taking damon daunno out for the obc and adding reeve#the only thing id ever seen or heard him in at that point was the live action rocky horror with laverne cox#and he was fucking riffraff#i was mad!!! i didnt think he could do it!!! but i love the show and i gave him a chance and now hes my all time favorite#between both touring casts ive seen and the pre bway cast recording and jordan fisher#just please stop being mean and give him a chance
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early in the morning after dead'nt, orange has a question.
usually he'd still be asleep long past now, but he wanted to ask about... TDL.
without the others interrupting.
so, he goes to chosen's door.
immediately this plan starts to slip off the rails.
no one knows where dark is.
...........because the others may or may not have spent the entirety of last night searching for him in every nook and cranny except there and they said they'd tell him if they found him and no one woke him up yet so
that means, the only logical conclusion is: he's in chosen's room.
so how is orange gonna ask chosen his question????
well, usually, chosen lets him just walk in.
s0!
here goes nothin
he opens the utterly silent door.
green made it special for cho, because they didn't want anyone to ever hear it being opened.
as a special bonus, yellow was able to code the door in such a way that it would never need any maintenance related to sound: its hinges and latches would stay pristinely quiet, forever.
so chosen doesn't wake up when orange sneaks inside.
they wake up when orange takes one step in, spots bright red, and fails to stifle a gasp.
"oh shit!!" orange whispers.
chosen's eyes peek over the covers.
"I'm sorry! i didn't know- uh, i would've- if um- i can come back later-"
they stare at him. "what's wrong." chosen prefers clear and concise, especially early in the morning.
"you-" orange carefully picks his next words. "and him-"
they're in the same bed.
"yep." chosen nods.
orange stands there.
then he shrugs.
"um, sorry. on our shows, this is always a big point of conflict. we don't know why. so i just didn't want to- you know. assume otherwise."
"oh. thanks...?" chosen blinks sleepily. "yeah, it's okay."
"okay!"
"you wanted something?"
"yeah, so-"
orange cuts off again midsentence.
TDL is beginning to stir.
dark emits the highest little squeak-whine that orange has ever heard (even compared to red's baby rabbits), and raises a hand to tug chosen back down to the pillow.
chosen turns their entire face to him, trilling.
they both perform a little brushy-brushy head bonk thing.
then chosen maneuvers their body (under the covers) so it, presumably, mingles more tightly with dark's.
this is satisfactory - for now. dark grumbles about it and stuffs his head under chosen's chin.
orange stands pixel-perfectly still by the door.
"you were saying?" chosen finally turns back to him.
"uh," orange stalls.
dark's eyes open.
he awakens with terrifying speed, untangling from chosen, hoisting up from the covers, and raising a warning fireball within milliseconds.
the room shifts into blazing color and stark shadows.
he shrieks,
"GET OUT!!!"
it seems dark does not, "okay" this situation.
orange drops, scrambles, and miraculously operates the door with enough precision to tumble out the other side unscathed.
silently, the door shuts itself behind him.
...
the fireball is put away.
...
"cho, why do you allow The Beast into your room?"
chosen snorts. "it was him who rebuilt you."
dark snarls. "are you SURE it wasn't some trick? you watched the whole time? i don't trust it."
"i trust him."
"why? how?? you do understand why i have reservations about it???"
"yes," chosen nods. "But I trust him."
They press their very cold head into dark's very warm head, and both of them sigh in relief.
"He brought me you."
dark huffs. "mm."
...
"and other things," chosen concedes. "you... weren't there."
"tell me."
...
outside, orange is still collapsed, upside down, against the wall, across from chosen's door, where he crashed earlier in his escape.
red has just found him while coming upstairs to check out the commotion.
"orange!? u okay?"
"yeap," orange strains. "all good."
"what happened?"
orange's hand flops on the floor towards chosen's door. "you were right. dark's in there."
red takes a second to digest this.
then his hands fly up to his mouth.
"what're they doing in there?????? did you see???"
"yes. i dunno."
"were they ? ? ?
fucking ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?"
orange squints at him.
through the door, two voices loudly interrupt,
"NO!"
the angrier voice adds,
"AND FUCK OFF!"
red squeaks and hurries back down the stairs.
orange sighs deeply.
this has been a terrible learning experience for all.
#--/ story#chodark#now hang on. stay with me. there is ZERO romance in this story. none.#but there are totally references to it in the context of explaining how zero the romance is in this story- it's all a joke about 0 romance#that's the point lmao#but there is? something?? i do not have words for this. p lease explain to me if you know#and there's fluff. so \o/ take that how you will#alan becker#animator vs animation#ava orange#ava the chosen one#ava the dark lord#i just realized this type of posting first about the ending before any of the beginning is what Handplates did.......#......... heh. go read that if you haven't it's really good storytelling#anyhow WHAT IS HAPPENING I NEVER WRITE THIS MUCH THIS FAST AAAAWAWAA#im enjoying myself but also trying not to overextend <o> y'know?? y'know#that's it for now 🎉🎊💥💕✨👋💖💫💤🕳️🦞#edit: the wise one has spoken. we shall call this pairing...#qpr#queer platonic relationship#\o/🎊 congratulations to the happy mutual administrative associates#executable!au#ava au
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Jonelias Week Day 1 (Which is definitely today I swear), for the prompt "No Powers AU"
This one... maybe got away from me. This is actually only the first half of what I've written so far, and probably the first third overall! I do plan to post this to Ao3 at some point (although I suspect I'll need to do a lengthy round of editing first lmao). It's some very self-indulgent nonsense, which is a lot of what I write, but now it's getting put in the main tags of a ship during said ship's event week. So. It may also be a little bit "aromantic dude tries to figure out what having a crush is supposed to be like." Also a lot of "dude who took Principals of Accounting once pretending it knows what office work is like." Anyway, quick warning before we begin, and the rest will be under the read-more:
Stalking (played for laughs) for most of the fic.
Just. A weird amount of obsession.
Ok that should be it I think. Fic under the cut.
Jon's new boss was, quite possibly, the most boring man in the world. He wore the same outfit every day (pale dress shirt with dark unpatterned tie and gray slacks and matching suit jacket). The only personal effect in his entire office was a potted plant on the windowsill (some sort of succulent, and definitely fake). He always arrived to work exactly half an hour early and left exactly half an hour late. The only hobby he appeared to show any interest in was scheduling, which he seemed to find both deeply engaging and remarkably irritating. In fact, he was apparently so opposed to the idea of mixing his work with his personal life that he might as well not have existed beyond the walls of their office. Jon had never been more fascinated by anyone else in his entire life.
It stared with the transfer to the accounting department. Elias had met with him personally to get him acclimated to his new role. He had been blandly polite, and blandly handsome, and Jon had stopped listening to him about five minutes into their conversation. It was probably bad form, really. The software Elias was droning on and on about sounded like it was about to become a central feature of his days. He really should've been paying attention to it. Instead, he pretended to make eye contact while zeroing in on the top of Bouchard's forehead (a very useful trick, really) and became inordinately focused on the small lock of hair that had fallen across it. It was terribly distracting, and Jon had wondered how he hadn't noticed it. And then he wondered how it had come to be there. And then he had built up an entire story involving a murder, an illicit affair with the assistant director of marketing, and the potted succulent. And then he had noticed Bouchard eying him with what could've been suspicion or amusement or irritation or nothing whatsoever, and had been forced to rapidly pretend to care about their company's bad debt expense policy. Bouchard had indulged him, and had spoken with the calm authority of someone who knew what they were talking about, and had even managed to avoid being overtly condescending (a feat forever out of Jon's reach). At the end he had shaken Jon's hand (with a nice, firm grip), and had told him "I'm looking forward to working with you, I'm sure you'll make a wonderful member of our team." Jon had left that meeting with a mind shrouded in a fog of boredom and a faint sensation of warmth which he decided was best attributed to curiosity and left otherwise unexamined. Over the next few weeks, Jon had tried to subtly inquire into Bouchard's life. At the time, he had been naively under the impression that surely he must have let slip something about his life; some odd quirk or funny story or harmless bit of information which could justify Jon's blooming curiosity. Unfortunately; "He lives in Chelsea, I'm pretty sure?" (Sasha) "He's currently in a meeting. Honestly Jon, you'll be better off just sending an email. Now can I please get back to work?" (Rosie, probably lying about the meeting) "He actually lives here in the office. Set up a cozy little home away from home in one of the storage closets and sneaks out at night to raid the canteen. And he's having an affair with the assistant director of marketing." (Tim, definitely lying (but maybe a mind reader? Also, full of brilliant ideas for places Jon could maybe set up a cot whenever he needs to stay overnight)) Clearly, Jon would have to take matters into his own hands if he wanted answers. That was fine. It could be his own private little research project.
Jon liked to think that the entire thing had actually been quite reasonable, and that he had acted within the bounds of their pre-established relationship as employee and supervisor. Surely any rational person had to realize that nobody could possibly be that uninteresting. Anyone would be curious as to what dark secrets Bouchard his behind his well-tailored suits and polite, professional demeanor. … perhaps most rational persons would not meticulously record the movements, behavior, and daily appearance of their colleague in a discreet notebook (with annotations, color-coding, and graphs where appropriate), but Jon had always prided himself on his dedication to research and understanding. So far Jon had collected frustratingly little data. If Bouchard was hiding anything, it wasn't apparent from his schedule (see pages 8-13, figure 2.b), his eating habits (see page 22), or his lone plant (see page five, figure 1.c). His breaks did seem specially timed to avoid other people (and he appeared not to engage in many social behaviors generally), but he never acted irritated or otherwise unhappy to encounter one of his subordinates, so Jon wasn't entirely sure if it was deliberate avoidance or simple coincidence. Really, the only truly odd thing about him was his inexplicable interest in Jon. That very morning, for example, Bouchard had stopped by his cubicle for a fifteen minute discussion on the upcoming Annual Team Luncheon, an event Jon had never attended before (due to an annual migraine which coincidentally always happened to occur on the exact date of the luncheon), which Jon did not plan to attend, and which honestly sounded like some sort of violation of the Geneva Convention. The topic itself was not especially odd (small talk was an archaic tradition which had stubbornly clung on in every workplace Jon had ever set foot in), but Bouchard's low propensity for inter-office socialization combined with the fact that he had both chosen Jon specifically as his conversational partner was… highly suspicious. Most people who encountered Jon inevitably concluded that he was more effort than he was worth (an attitude Jon mostly appreciated).
And of course, there had also been their interaction two days ago, when Elias had paused briefly to inquire as to whether Jon would be staying late, and what he was working on, and if he might perhaps consider heading home soon because there was only so much overtime they could pay him. Or on Friday, when he had managed to hold two separate conversations with Jon where very little was said. Honestly, Jon somewhat suspected that Elias had spoken to him more in the past few weeks than he had spoken to any of their colleagues for the entire time Jon had been there to observe him. Most of Jon's notes were now dedicated to their interactions. From his cot in the unused storage room (which was indeed a good place to stay overnight, thank you Tim), he could jot down everything he recalled about their interaction; it had begun at 8:32 and had concluded at 8:47; the weather was warm and slightly humid, although the office interior remained at a comfortable 21 °C. Bouchard's shirt had been a nice, cool gray, which complemented the silver of his eyes. Jon (who had been busy digging for his favorite pen (the ink was a lovely deep green color, and it was usually kept on the left side of the top desk drawer, and Jon had no idea where else it could have possibly gone)) had settled on "irritation" as his tone, which Bouchard either had not noticed or had not cared enough to acknowledge. He had easily dominated the conversation, and Jon could admit in the sanctity of his research journal that his voice had been soothing enough to cool away some of Jon's annoyance. He wrote his conclusion: Subject behaved near-identically in tone, posture, body language, and apparent mood as he has in all previous communications. Subject displayed no strong thoughts or opinions on subject of discussion nor conversational partner. Interaction was pleasant but slightly dull, no new information discovered. It was almost exactly the same as every previous conclusion. Jon had to admit, so many months with so little progress was… discouraging. He shifted on the narrow mattress and winced when his movements aggravated his backache (which was surely unrelated to his frequent occupancy of the cot). It was becoming more and more apparent that the only possible solution was to do some actual, direct investigation. His first idea (break into Bouchard's office) seemed a tad far (also, he didn't know how to pick locks). His second idea (follow him home) seemed a stretch further than the previous one, and was perhaps best saved as a last resort. His third idea (something something computers? (perhaps "idea" was a bit generous)) would almost certainly require Sasha, who would have questions Jon couldn't answer. He flipped idly through his notes, half-skimming, half-thinking. It was only when his gaze landed on figure 2.b, Weekly Schedule of E. Bouchard, that he actually came up with something reasonable. Something actionable.
#wish there was a way to search for all italicized text in a wordpad document... cause tumblr de-italicized it all lol#anyway jon manages to be an eye-aligned Freak even when the eye doesn't exist#worried this is ooc tbh but fuck it we ball ig.#anyway hope you enjoyed.#i am. i am so unbelievably nervous about posting this in a way that invites the scrutiny of people beyond my trusted mutuals.#anyway i'm personally deeply entertained by the idea of elias trying to be the most boring version of himself possible.#like just for fun. he's having a great time and nobody else is sure that he has a personality. idk it just speaks to me#also i made them accountants because that's my destiny. there are spreadsheets in my future. the stars have spoken.#but that's ok because i like them. they're kinda soothing honestly.#i really enjoyed principals of accounting tbh.#i barely know what i'm typing at this point i'm super tired lmao.#but this isn't about me this is about Them.#jon saw elias (barely talks to anyone. has never mentioned a personal life. primarily focused on Work.) and went 'wow. freakish.#i've never seen this behavior in anyone before. anyway i'm going to avoid speaking w/ my coworkers whenever possible#and move into a storage closet so i can stay late whenever i want.'#elias 100% knows about that btw. i imagine its the sort of thing that would be difficult to hide. he's not gonna say anything tho <3#anyway sorting tags#jonelias#joneliasweek#joneliasweek2024#sparkwrites#anyway time for sims4 i think.
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Your Yan Idia and his magical onahole is so amazing its so gooddd!!! But what if the magical onahole but with Azul and the tweels???
Zuzu using it as a comfort toy and fucking its precious hole with his rather big but tentacle-like octopus cock. Trying to sit still when mysterious phantom suckers are sucking on their puffy slit. trying not to cum when long slender fingers work your hole open, rubbing up and down so gently
OR OR!! Tweels know that its connected to their darling and fuck the onahole's holes so roughly. They do it when the reader is asleep and jolting them awake once two large mercocks were shoved into their pretty tight holes, in class when they're in a middle of a lesson or in random places.
Azul definitely uses it as a comfort toy, but he also uses it for practice! He does everything to the onahole that he wishes to do to you. He fucks into it in his octo-mer form just to work on being more confident in that form so that when (and if) he does get to fuck you with his tentacles he won't feel so insecure. He also wants to be perfectly skilled when he eats you out or scissors you open; he dreads looking so foolishly inexperienced when he actually gets to sleep with you, so he'll practice quite often. And of course he always, always cums lots inside. <3 he could go many rounds if he's particularly pent-up (he hate-fucks the onahole a lot because he's a jealous tako), so if he chooses to use it on a day or night when you're with friends... good luck. :)
Slimy eels... >:( they know exactly what they're doing when they fit both of their cocks inside just to see how much of them you can take at once. They definitely fight over the onahole sometimes, wrestling each other for first use with mean scowls and snapping jaws. Floyd doesn't want to fuck Jade's cum back inside you. He wants his chance to fill you up first, not settle for sloppy seconds!! And Jade doesn't want to share at this moment because he found a particularly phallic-shaped mushroom and wants to see how well you'll take it (which is an immediate no-go for Floyd; he is not fucking an onahole that's been fucked with a mushroom). Sometimes Jade just wants to drag things out and tease you so slowly, but Floyd is impatient and he wants to be inside you the minute he's freed his cock from the confines of his boxers. And there's only one onahole, so they're forced to either compromise and share or fight over it like starved eels.
The twins work together very well when they aren't actively strangling the other near death for use of the onahole. When they're functioning on the same horny brain cell, they actually plan some very devious schemes. Jade likes to talk with you, whether over tea or in the botanical gardens or even during a walk through campus, while Floyd's off with the onahole, slamming it onto his cock just so Jade can watch the breath get knocked out of your little lungs. He loves to see you squirm and if you let him (you will; peer pressure is so fun and Jade does it best) he'll have you bent over so he can see how your hole gapes and clenches around an invisible force (Floyd's dick). He'll force his way inside and the two of them fuck you sore and dumb.
Jade likes to use the onahole when you're spending time with a friend or if you're on a date. He may not seem it, but he has a nasty jealous streak. He's only willing to share you with Floyd, so the fact that his dearest darling would even think to spend time with others when he and Floyd are the best fits for you... You really like to hurt his poor heart. :( it's only fair he absolutely ruins your chances with anyone else, teasing you all throughout your date before finally, finally bottoming out just when you think anything special might happen on your date. After all, why settle for someone who is better off becoming fish food? Obviously Jade and Floyd are the ones meant for you; the way you squeeze Jade's dick so tightly indicates that you agree, even if not yet verbally.
#meraki thirsts#yandere twst#n/sfw#i will admit the trio were the first ones i thought of while writing the response to onahole idia... ;;;;;#actually this works so well for shy scummy incel azul#he breeds you in secret and you have no idea :)#or the twins pressuring you to get pregnant because they want children and their parents want it too#but when you tell them no they act like they understand and the matter is never spoken about again#they turn to the onahole determined to fuck it so many times you'll eventually be knocked up#and then when you come to them pregnant they can act like you cheated on them#but don't worry!! they still love you <3 just promise you'll marry them#and in nine months you'll see it was all a big misunderstanding because what a wonderful surprise#you were actually pregnant with their fry all along :D#orz they are the worst men aaaaaa i need octavinelle carnally T_T
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i JUST realized this might be related to one of my other friends in the mvk fandom suddenly hardblocking me so uh
hey y'all! if you frequent the mvk tag, there is a regular blogger there who i will not name, but who has some sort of pathological attachment/obsession with me. they and i were tumblr mutuals but we were not close. we DM'd twice and had scattered interactions here and there.
they are accusing me of:
being abusive toward them
being otherwise cruel to them
being ableist against disabled folks who are high-support???
sending suibait/having my friends send suibait
probably other things.
EDIT: someone's informed me they're accusing me of posting private stuff from their vent account? the only account i know of theirs is the one we were mutuals on
i can't stress enough that none of this is true. there is no proof of it and if you press this person they will have none. all that happened was some time about a year ago when we were mutuals, i feared they might be vagueblogging about me when i was having depressive episodes and i sent them this message about it:
i was being honest here, but they then turned around and said i was spot on--they were vagueblogging about how badly they wanted me to shut the fuck up, stop whining, etc (paraphrasing, but that was the vibe exactly) every time i needed social support. they have since deleted their message admitting to this. i am so sorry i cannot prove it.
since then multiple mutual friends of ours have unfollowed them because they squat on ym blog and, again, pathologically blog about me. they revel and make posts about "justice" and "karma" whenever i am upset on here. they scream and yell and cry whenever i am happy. they have admitted to wanting to convince their mutuals to abandon me:
again, i can't prove this is about me but i have a lot of testimonials from people who noticed this being in both our circles and can vouch for it. initially i was just going to roll my eyes and move on but i think they might be telling other people i'm some horrible fucking abuser who mistreated them when i wasn't even close enough to them to do so.
anyways, sorry to everyone who tracks the tag! i don't know how to prove that i didn't hurt this person. but... like... if they approach you, please do your best to use best judgement and consider the facts in front of you.
again, i will not be naming them. this is not a callout post. this is a preventative measure, because i am a traumatized wreck and i really cannot deal with things of this nature.
#manfred von karma#wordy wendy#literally someone in the mvk fandom who i never had a bad interaction with#just suddenly blocked me out of the blue#and i was heartbroken and reached out with no response#it happens to me p often but it seemed particularly random...#and then by chance i stumbled upon this blog#whose vent tag has hundreds upon HUNDREDS of posts about me despite not having spoken to me in almost a year#and i know they are friends#so i am like. 90% sure they accused me of some horrible shit in private#given how much they post about wanting to turn all our mutual friends against me#really ugly behaviour overall. their vent tag is full of some absolutely reprehensible things.#including talking about how much they hate minorities#and very thinly-veiled posting about how they want palestinians to die and suffer#because theyre tired of seeing donations#i do not know how a person like this slipped into my circle back then#they seemed normal when we first met and just kinda... i don't know. i'm not going to speculate on what changed.
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